Project 5
3rd August - 3rd September
David Lisser
Lisser's Practical Solutions Range
Text by Nathalie Levi
Feeling down, depressed, lonely? Are you stressed at home or at work? Are you weak and your powers failing? Tired of life? Have God, Allah, Zen, self-help and Scientology let you down? Does the wife not understand you? Do you not understand the universe? Are your dreams unrealised? Your hedge untrimmed?
Are you tired of questions and searching for answers?
Worry no more! There is an answer. Allow me to introduce you to Lisser’s inimitable, cure-all, never before seen Practical Solutions Range previewing exclusively, for a limited time only, at the Gallery of Wonder.
Lisser devoted years to the task before perfecting methods to produce results that satisfied him. Now he is satisfied because his labour and meticulous field research in the areas of Chaos and String Theory succeeded.
The phenomenal success of the ‘Pressure Gauge Bowler Hat” is a clear testament to Lisser’s talent. Simply place the stylish hat upon one’s head on departure for the office for instantaneous, periodic determinations of one’s stress levels during the working day. The ‘Pressure Gauge Hat’s clear, accurate readings permit easy monitoring and analysis of employee and individual welfare dramatically reducing sickliness and foul temper. Order yours today*
With the menfolk happily at work in the office, Lisser directs his attentions towards the tiresome duties of the home. Domestic housekeepers, your plights are not forgotten! Behold ‘The Household Flying Machine’ an invigorating mechanical tonic for mind, body and soul. This specially adapted sewing machine instantly lifts the spirits of those who use her, transporting one to a place of one’s own imagining. Not only that, the “Household Flying Machine” effectively lightens workloads, floating one through a day of darning.
Household duties taken care of? Very well then, now for the garden. Presenting Lisser’s latest creation the ‘ The Precision Hedge Trimmer’ made from 100% natural fibre; constituting brass teeth, highly specialised clockwork mechanism and wheels for ultimate manoeuvrability. Unlike the commonplace trimmer whose unwieldy blades are quickly blunted ‘The Precision Hedge Trimmer’ can tackle the most unruly of hedges with astonishing rapidity and ease whilst the reassuring pet-like furriness complements their total safety, enveloping even the most fastidious of users in an oasis of calm. Unrivalled topiaric detail, with added mental wellbeing, can be yours. {The Rabbit Hedge Trimmer is also suitable for lawns}
Now, let us not forget our lives beyond the world of work! Some of Lisser’s most important creations were conceived under the umbrella of leisure activity. Whilst enjoying Brahms Violin Concerto, Lisser was struck with the most fortitudinal of ideas; ‘The Harmony of the Worlds’. We have been allowed a rare chance to witness the developmental stage of this recent exploration: a mathematical drawing that seeks to establish the role of music in the structure of our existence. Lisser is in the process of uncovering a set of harmonies and chords whose huge implication and significance remain hidden, yet of paramount importance to life itself. ‘The Harmony of the Worlds’ therefore is the first step on a long journey to investigating these links.
Finally… I have the great honour of unveiling to the market Lisser’s most staggering, most dazzling creation to date: the lauded ‘Blueprint for the Solar System’. Playing the serious game of flame chess involves much careful manoeuvring and the production of ‘Celestial Maps’ where the strongest burns mark the brightest stars. Furthermore, careful study of these celestial maps could unlock the ultimate mysteries of our solar system, be it arbitrary, strategic or designed. ‘Blueprint for the Solar System’ holds the very secrets to the formation of our universe itself and the answers to life’s greatest questions.
If you hold some of these questions in your heart, let them trouble you no more. Scores of cases previously considered hopeless by themselves and others found a quick, complete solution with Lisser’s Practical Solutions Range. This is not a lie. It is a fact. Pre-order today! Lisser won’t let you down
*Order your company 10 or more to receive a special discount
David Lisser graduated from Fine Art at Newcastle University in 2009, and continues to live and work in Newcastle. Working primarily, but not exclusively, in sculpture, he has shown work around the North East, in London, and abroad.
Societies’ relationship with science and innovation fascinates him, and much of his work stems from that enquiry. By constructing fanciful inventions, he aims to create nostalgia for the hope that technology once gave us, and thereby question our trust and faith in technology today and for the future.
